err, whatever the date is...

I'd like to apologise for my appalling blogging behaviour last night. lol. i think it was lack of sugar, as soon as i had finished i went and baked some fairy cakes and that put me in a good mood. I am really looking forward to going to Stus, esecially his antique shop, which he has promised me serve cream teas! so you know... material pleasures and all that! lol. Atm am packing, which isnt that big a job but i keep being distracted; I started two hours ago and all i have done is put my purse and phone in the bag. So as i only have another two hours before i catch my bus i think i am in trouble. I have at last washed this top that has needed a wash for about a year and a half, but it is delicate and has to be washed at 30 degrees so i have always put it off, as it would have to be washed by itself, but yesterday i thought "what the hell" and stuck it in the machine, and am now wearing it! I have the worst pain in my neck ever, on the right-hand side. This morning I let my mum have the shower first, so while i was waiting i decided to do a few sit ups, but i'm really unfit, so when i got to about twenty five i was really having to whizz my body up as the force of this was mostly the movement (this sounds really confusing, prob not best to try and understand it)that allowed me to sit up, however, i think as i waswhizzing up i cracked my neck, hence the injury; i cant think of anyother way i might have done it. but it really hurts, and i cant move my neck to the right. but i hope it will be okay soon, although i cant think that a couple of nights on the floor is going to help it. Anyway, have to go and pack now, i'll blog again after I get back on wednesday and tell everyone how it actually was; much better than i thought it was going to be yesterday. Anway, everyone have fun. keep revising.

28th may

well today has been rubbish, haven't done nething, or had anything to do, sorted my uni acomodation, watched "emma", "ally mcbeal", realised i am putting on weight, been irritable with everyone, mostly from lack of sugar, felt like there's nothing to look forward to and generally hated the world. Bit of advice; dont ask me about it, i will go on, and it is boring; its boring for me, everyone else must be bored rigid (corrugated cardboard comes to mind when i think of the word rigid, i suppose it is more rigid than other cardboard, but you would have thought that if i had thought of the word rigid some sheet of really thick metal would have sprung to mind, perhaps corrugated iron...?) neway, well ,there isn't much more to say. Tomorrow I'm going to Stu's four couples me and watkins for two days, its gonna b a ball, soz stu, it'l b great, i'm just moody, i think part of it is that I have my music on shuffle and it keeps shuffling to all these really sad songs, at the moment its "everybody hurts" mayb the next one will b more peppy, i aplogise for my language, its kinda texty. I tidied my room, which was good, oh and tom, we didnt climb on the roof on friday, that two-long year pact, and it never came to anything! lol. Nope, its snow patrol. err, well everyone have fun, i will. i must remember to revise, i dont think theres much else to say, i know i havent blogged for a while... err, last day, was rubbish, no, it wasnt rubbish, just the first in a long line of goodbyes that i dont want to say. if anyone wants photos; ask; stu sent me a load and including mine i have about 150; well like i said have fun.

becuase i should...

I haven't blogged for ages, well a while, so thought I should. Haven't really done anyhting (as usual), err having last lessons, which are really sad, went for my english meal last night, it was really good, and everyone has been saying how they are going to miss us, lol, Mrs Tate called me ditzy and full of wisdom! lol (if you do RE you'll understand better), changed the back of my hoodie now so it says "Dooblie Sar", lol, after a lot of debate. Had an exam yesterday, probably better if you don't ask about it. Err, not much else has happened, oh, Stu, if you read this, bit of a favour; can you invite nick to the dooblie on mon/tues/wed, he wont come, I can promise you, but not inviting people places makes me feel so bad, if it was the other way around i'd go mental, and I know that he prob wont care either way, but can you anyway? to make me feel better? lol. Thanks. Ooh, finished reading "Wild Swans", so if anyone has questions about Mao and communist China in the early 1900's ask me (as long as its from a human perspective) lol. Have just baked raisin buns for english tomorrow (notice the slight change from raisin bread; their buns... with raisins in!). Anyway, am going to do something more productive, well, something else... anyway, have fun, hope everyone is revising hard!

thursday (I have no idea of the date)

Well today has been a mixture of ups and downs. Haven't done much, I know I always say that, but well, its always true. Had an English lesson, which was okay, we're going to have a party next week, which will be good. My free was quite funny, although it consisted of running around the canteen looking for my stuff which some people continued to hide, lol, but the time did go quite quickly. In theatre studies we had to watch Romeo and Juliet, I realised what a depressing concept it is, and now I really dislike that play, unless I suppose its done in the Vicotrian era (i.e. with a happy ending, which kind of takes away the point). Also it means that I have to cook raisin bread tonight cos we are going to have a picnic tomorrow when we go to stratford upon avon tomorrow to watch R + J, which is really irritating, as I have just realised that I do not like the play. Had a driving lesson from two till three, which went really well, i did emergency stops! lol, and have now started manoevers (that's spelt wrong). However, it sounds exciting, I lugged a whole ream of lined paper home with me today as I am clearing out my locker. Got the bus home (soz I didn't say bye Joyce, you seemed engrossed in your conversation), and came home. Ooh yesterday, bought Ally McBeal season two! It's really brill, although I have already watched too much, lol. Err, still don't ask me about Nick, at the moment I am keeping with forgetting being the best policy, but try forgetting about the last three years of you life; you'll find it pretty damn impossible, so I may have to re-think my policy. Ooh, and everyone who knows pete (my driving instructor) who told him that I was feeling left out as we didnt have risque conversations? Well to make up for it he told me two dodgy jokes, lol, one was really rubbish, and the other was quite funny, in a kind of you didn't expect the ending. No, I'm not repeating them, I don't like saying rude words! lol. Atm I am feeling okay, sometimes ecstatic, sometimes crap, actually just really happy until I see, hear or think of Nick, lol, at least I know the cause of my misery. Anyway, raisin bread is calling to me, if people are lucky I might make two batches and bring one in tomorrow, but I wouldn't count on it, lol. Have fun, see everyone tomorrow!

16th May

Well today was okay, the day started really badly, but had six frees today, and actually had fun in my frees this morning thanks to various people who cheered me up. Didnt really do anything else though, suffering from lack of activity. Got home, didn't do much, played "everybody's talkin'" on the guitar, with my mum on base and us both singing, it was so funny (its the only song i can play and my mum hasnt played base for like a year). lol, read some magazine, which was depressingly chirpy and assumed everyones biggest problem was how to wear a white dress and look good in it, the answer, if your fat you just can't, lol. Anyway... am vaguely moody now through lack of entertainment, but not too bad. Hope everyone else ish aving more fun, lol.

14th May?

Well, I've had a really rubbish day today. Went to bed too late last night, so woke up really tired (which was the main problem), and with a cold and a sore throat. Had frees first thing, and just sat there and ate all my lunch, didn't do anything in English, then had frees five and six which I also did very little in. Lunch; I did nothing in really, apart from chatting to Beth and Andrena and James, which still wasn't the most energy consuming thing. Towards the end of lunch Nick came in (he was on study leave, but had to come in for french), and well, yeah, anyway, had re last thing which i could hardly pay attention to. Afterwards we had a desk study meeting which was useless, then met up with stu and alex and emma t and tom for hot chocolate, then went home. However, feel really lethargic as I have eaten a massive amount, not gone for a run for seemingly ages, and have nothing to do in my life. Just generally bored for a general description, I can see why people resort to bad habits, just to change monotony. Anyway, am leaving now, so that I can sleep and hopefully come into school tomorrow, although all I have to do is critical thinking as I have six frees. Oh, the one enjoyable thing I did today was sign up for a school leavers hoodie, mine will say ; "SAR: STATIONERY LOVE, its a Colemans thing. Lol. Anyway, hope everyone has had a better day than me, and hope that tomorrow is better, if you see me in the canteen tomorrow then smile, lol, I just need to laugh, I haven't laughed for ages, and I need a side-splitting giggle. Oh, and I should apologise to Stu, a few blogs ago I made him sound really dodgy, lol, although he was kind of, but not as much as I made out, oh, and Joyce is still a hunk, lol. Oh, another goos thing; Nick isn't going to the leaver's dinner, so I don't have to get a new dress! lol, it all works in my crazy mind.

14th May

This weekend hasn't really been special. Saturday, had an average day at Colemans, it went really fast, as I had to do a variety of exciting jobs. After work we all went to Watkins' and saw everyone, it was okay, not the most fun we've ever had- alex left about 9 and came back at bout eleven, Nick was quite quiet; silent, a lot of the conversation was made up of pranks we could play with a certain secretary and eggs, which thrilling as it was, carried a repetetive feeling to it, lol, surprisingly. Stayed over at Watkins' and left early this morning (well, for the ten past ten bus). Came home, and haven't really done anything, lol, its as fun as it sounds. Haven't done any work, and I really need to, but I have six frees tomorrow as various lessons have been cancelled, so I can do something then.

In general am bored with life, lol, although that might be something to do with the fact that theres not much to look forward to, bring on half-term.

11th May

Its so late in the month already, I only have 8 school days until my first exam. How scary is that? Again, did practically nothing today, talked to Nick for the first time kind of properly on our own in registration, we asked each other what we did last evening, etc, it sounds silly, but it makes it so much easier just talking to him normally, as though there is a possibility we might end up friends, lol. Didn't really do anything in lessons, had a test in RE which I spent my free revising for, so i hope i did ok, but i dont think i evaluated enough.

In school news, we found out who all the senior people were, lol, thrilled about head girl, lol, and not really going to comment, as anything i say could be taken the wrong way, lol. I bought some voile after school and put it on my window, so I can now have it open ( I say can, i mean have to, as there is no way of closing the window unless i remove some of the tape i put it up there with (was going to do it with velcro stuff but couldn't be bothered to walk to oundle and back just to buy velcro)) so thats brill, as the bugs and more importantly, daddy long legs wont get in.

Did the stupidest thing, watched Holleyoaks after the Simpsons, and all the stories were really depressing; some babysitters killed a baby and some drunk girl was thrown out of her house, there were also two people that decided to run away as they were in love, but one was married, how depressing is that; does nothing ever happy happen on tv?

Atm I am procrastinating from doing my english genre studies, which i really don't want to do, but nevertheless I will begin shortly. Overall, had an okay day, ooh, had last debate club ever, it was fun, and i'll miss it, kind of, lol. Never mind.

joyce the hunk

Like the title i have to tell everyone that Joyce is a hunk, he wanted to be mentioned... as a hunk, I told him I would oblige, anybody else want a mention?

Not much has happened today, did that stupid uni que test although i was late, as the bus broke down. It would not have been that annoying, but the reason that it broke down was becuase it hadn't been filled with petrol the night before, becuase the guy had forgotten. We had to sit for forty minutes waiting for a van to come with the petrol in it. It was tedious and frustrating, so I ended up getting to school and five past nine.

Anyway, apart from that mishap, the test lasted until break, then had re then went to Alex's garden for wednesday afternoon, before going home on the bus. Went for milkshakes with my sister, and then home. The weather has been completely gorgeous, but apart from that the day has been kind of crap, haven't really spoken to anyone, and haven't had registration, well we havem, but i missed it. And the more people smile the more frustrated i become, i sware im going mad, well, not actually mad, but alot more crazy than usual. I need to go out, I was going to arrange dancing on saturday, but i dont even feel like going out on saturday (i go out every saturday usually, and cannot remeber the last time i stayed in on one). Can someone arrange something and make me come? thanks, lol, or not as the case may be, lol, soz i'm not very perky today, i'll try again tomorrow.

9th May

As usual, nothing much has happened. Had quite a boring day today, oh, have to mention stu yesterday, (promised him I would) yesterday, he not only dreamed about me naked, then tiend a plastic bag around my neck - it was painful (kind of). Ooh, something else that happened yesterday; I bit a bit of my tongue off, it was quite small but it bled loads, and was really painful.

Today, however, I did very little, a test in RE, read during critical thinking, and didn't do much during my free. Haggis invented the laughing game; if you laugh then he sleeps with you, if you don't then he jumps off a tall building. I'm not sure that there are any winners in that game! lol. Ddidn't do anything in theatre studies or lunch except laugh (I'd like to point out here that I did not join in the laughing game so it didn't matter that I laughed, lol). Then came home, and am procrastinating so that I don't have to write an English essay. lol, well thats about all for now - lol, don't ask about anything to do with Nick - you don't want to know the answer, all I can say is that I am working on my feelings, and they definitely need working on!

7th May

Well, we went to Alex's birthday meal - a thrilling affair. Lol, it was very nice - we went to Prezzos, and although Claire couldn't make it (a long story which no one would really get anything out of), everyone else could (I say everyone, there were only eight of us there). Anyway, we laughed, and ate, and drank, and generally had a good time. Highlights of the evening would be Jules telling us that they nearly lost louise in London (lou is Jules' sister), and after a long conversation (that I did not really take much part in), it was decided by a mixture of tom and mark (alex's boyf), that there would be no guy in Jack Hunt that I would consider going out with (there is a long list of credentials, apparently the fact that I don't want any piercings or tatoos make a big difference...? Anyway, after that we went briefly to the Drapers Arms and then to Alex's. Then after more talk we went home. A good evening, although it did finish rather early, although as I had to leave at twenty past midnight anyway, I didn't mind it not lasting a long time.

Saturday = Colemans, Leanne was in, and so we did no work but had a lot of fun, until about three o'clock, when I suddenly just wanted to sleep, I have never felt that dreadful at work, even when I haven't gone to bed until three, I don't know why I was soo tired, but I was and it hurt. lol. Don't really have any thrilling stories to tell, apart from a man proposing to whisk me oof to Beans in the near future (I might add that the man is in his late forties at least, and was the musical director of the pantomime that I did, and so knows me quite well - it doesn't make it quite so exciting!)

Saturday evening everyone was busy apart from me watkins and alex (well, nick wasn't very busy, but said that it didn't sound very good, and he'd be better off working). So we went to Watkins house and talked really, until half eleven, when I was half asleep, went back to Alex's and I must have been asleep by Midnight.

This morning, woke up, eventually left to get the ten past eleven, and met my mum while I was walking to the Bus station going to church, lol, which was nice, nearly joined her, but decided I should realy work ,as it is only two weeks and two days until my first exam. Anyway... here I am now.

Extra bits; I have started reading Wild Swans (Tom made me a library card, and got out the book for me!), its really brill, and I am trying not to just read it, but do other things as well, such as work (although at the moment I am procrastinating quite well). Oh, and I am not over Nick at all, but stuck between two planes, either people talk about him all the time and make jokes about us, and I can't get him out my mind. Or, we hardly mention him at all, and then I dream about him at night(duh, opposed to during the day?), right now, I am prefering to talk about him during the day, it is less emotional. lol, so when you see me, mention him, lol, that was a joke, don't really, I'll get really annoyed! lol. Anway, until next time...

4th May

Hey, again haven't done much, lol, err, although had a two hour driving lesson which was a bit of a mission as I had to re-arrange it becuase of my hair appointment (lol, i have had my hair cut!), but in the end it all got sorted out. Its way too hot at the moment, and so I am going to go and have some tea and sit out in the garden, which will be fun. Lol. Anyway... have to go now as my mum wants to use the internet, but if i come on again in the evening i might add further detail to my already lacklustre description of my day. You may be given such delicacies as what happened in house assembly, and whether brian and mip agreed with my petriburgian report, and what i had to do with nick miss calabraise and nicks french oral... itll be a ball, until then...

3rd of May

Hope everyone has had fun. As ususal I haven't done much. Finished my book on the bus this morning which was brill, its called Holy Fools, and is written by the same woman that wrote chocolat, which I should read as she is an amazing authoress, lol. Started the school day with English where we finally finished Surfacing! Its exciting stuff, and now we are on to poem revision, yay. In RE we spent a whole double matching up bits of paper with questions and answers and then writing them down. Had frees for the rest of the day where Joyce mentioned that I'd started blogging again and people promised to comment (so do!). Went to Alex's for afternoon activites which was really brill cos we finally gave her the dvd that tom made her with everyone wishing her a happy birthday. Its really hysterical, lol, and I have realised that I sound really posh, like, really posh, I was surprised, but it does make sense now, when I think back to all the people who have called me posh (nearly everyone I can think of). After Alex's I went shopping, and was completely thrilled with my purchases, which shall be making their debut (john would pronounce it deebutt, lol) on Friday! which I am also looking forward to!

Haven't really done much else as I got the late bus back, but I have got lots to do, so I shall leave you with that quick update, and hope that everyone has had a day that is as good as mine.

err the 2nd of April?

well haven't really been made to do anything today. I have had eight frees, well, strictly six, but then mr forsyth let us go and do research, which was deifinitely not collapsing the lesson, as too few people were there. So, I have started writing the Petriburgian article for school house, written an re essay and done more revision. It has been relatively unproductive and boring. lol.

Got home early (as I had a load of frees), not done much else, at the moment I am wondering how early I can go to bed without looking stupid, as I can't really think of anything else to do except work. Oh, guess who I saw when I was out for my run... same person I saw at Berans yesterday, I felt really silly ,even though I had no reason to, as obviously I had no idea he was going to be there etc.

Oh, and I feel really stupid, Nic= secret busted fan, and I have the Busted CD that he hasn't got (the first one, that is better than the rest), anyway, just texted him to say that I had a copy of it if he wanted it, I thought that just because of our recent mishaps it wasn't really a reason to deny someone something that they would really like. Anyway, so I texted him, only to recieve a reply to the words of "no thanks. You can have too much of good thing", how stupid do I feel? - alot, is the answer, I was only trying to be normal, and he was waxing lyrical about them in form today, so either he was lying to everyone when he said how much he liked them, or he thinks by accepting a copy of some Busted cd, he is implying something deeper. I'm really frustrated, and want to tell him so, but I can't without sounding stupider myself. I have come to the conclusion that no way can you be good friends with an ex, unless you leave so long inbetween your relationship and your friendship that you actually have no recollection of what it is like going out with them at all. As I don't think I will ever reach that point, I feel that I may have to just stop trying to be nice to Nick and give him up for being dead (not literally, just in a friend kind of way).

Anyway, not much else has happened, ooh, apart from the fact that I knew I had to get the ten past three bus on thursday but couldn't remember for the life of me why, it took me half an hour before I realised that that is the day I am getting my hair cut, and the appointment is at four o'clock! lol. Anyway, everyone have a good evening, and try not to feel as stupid as I do!

bank holiday monday

I'm procrastinating... lol. Haven't done much today (I feel I always say that). Got up and did a deskstudy (English paper), it was easy, but it hasn't been marked yet, so there was probably a whole lot stuff I missed out. Had lunch, and didn't do much in the afternoon, went for coffee with Jenny (sister), she wanted to go to Beans, so we did but guess who was working there (if you don't know then I'm not going to tell you), and well lets just put it this way... I'm not going there again, I will continue to boycott it, as I have done these last six months. Anyway, got home, wondered around, still not doing much, talked to my mother who has the interest of a thousand men at the moment (turns out shes not going out with the rugby guy, she just keeps meeting him), anyway, so listened to all her stories of unsuitable guys and why there not that brill.

Jenny has just shown me the greatest time waster in the world, add it to your hotmail, its smarterchild@hotmail.com its a robot thing, and you cna ask it question and it answers them, and although you could easily get bored with it, it is fun for the first five minutes if you like that kind of thing.

Haven't really done much else, read a bit, gone for a run, had tea, now thinking about going to bed, lol. A nice day, but not really one where much has been achieved; have six frees tomorrow, so I don't really need to work, at all. which is good, althoguh I should have done more revision this weekend, I am using the excuse that I have no suitable books on the cosmological argument, lol, well it works for me!

In general I am happy, just kind of floating along, looking forward to Friday (it'll be brill), and uni in general and wishing that exams were over, and we had all the right results... actually I was happier but now have listened to several of Nick's favourite songs, so now feeling not quite so good, but still kind of happy, downloaded the best song last night "hooked on a feeling" (did I put that in my last blog), still very excited about it though, I have wanted it for ages but have never known what it was called. Anyway, gotta go, lol, I'm just soo busy (that was sarcasm), ooh, btw, I am trying to improve on my sarcasm, it wont work, but I' mtrying to be more obvious when I am sarcastic, well I'm trying the best I can, I'll see what happens. lol.