still in shock

I'm determined to continue writing this blog every time I go online, and so here I am again. Not much has changed since yesterday, apart from the fact that I actually saw him today. My bus was twenty mins late and so I didn't see him until break time, when I gave him back his t-shirt, his socks and a book that he'd left at mine, but I had to do it in front of everyone else, so he jus said "thanks". I caught up with him at lunch, and asked him about what he wanted to do, I have to go and beg my teacher at school to do another Wednesday activity, because at the moment I am meant to be playing squash with him. He is also still doing the music for my pantomime, which I am a little surprised at, and don't know whether it is a good thing or a bad thing.

He had a band rehearsal after school, and I had a meal with my theatre group and typically we left the restauraunt at exactly the same time that he was walking down the road from his practice, I'm going crazy, I can't stop talking about him. Everyone is going to get really annoyed with me when they realise I'm not going to stop. All I want to happen is that he tells me he made a mistake and actually he loves me really. He bnought a pink t-shirt over the weekend, he's never bought a pink t-shirt before, I can tell he likes being without me, I just wish I felt the same. On Friday we have a non-uniform day, and we either have to dres in pink (hence the pink t-shirt) or we have to dress up really smart, and I decided with one of my friends that we would go in ball dresses, but now all I want to do is go and buy a really nice t-shirt and a new pair of shoes. Part of me thinks that if I make an effort to look really nice he will suddenly love me again and I know this isn't true, but I can't help clutching onto any straws I have.

Not done much else but think of him! It's not as though I want to, I just have no other choice, I hope it doesn't continue for long, I think that if I write everything down here, perhaps I wont have to tell everyone I meet.